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Josh's blowout - The Rancho Commons
Note to self: no whining, no slacking
aspiring2live
aspiring2live
Josh's blowout
Josh (5) had a blowout right before eating. He was asked to set the table after Evan (10) washed it. He said he would rather wash the table so I said, "Okay, come in here and wash it and Evan will set it." Josh replied, "I'm doing something." So I told Evan to go ahead and wash AND set the table. This caused Josh to become totally and utterly destroyed. I sent him to his room and told him he could come eat with us when he was finished crying and screeching. It took a few minutes, but he finally came out, calm, and sat down to eat. After a few minutes, thinking things were pretty much back to normal, I had this exchange with Josh.

Me: I'm very pleased that you were able to come to the table and eat with us.
Josh: Well, maybe I'm gonna go right back in there.

I had to laugh. This statement so completely describes how determined and independent he is. It is a strength I lack, and I'm glad to see it. However, I also know how important it is to teach him to control himself, and to focus his strengths only in productive ways. It promises to be a challenge.



16 aspirations -{}- aspire with me
Comments
curious_corax From: curious_corax Date: April 17th, 2005 08:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Love, baby, that's where it's at.

   I know precisely how you feel. My girls have strong wills. This is a trait I want to help them preserve. I want them to grow up believing in themselves. I want them to have a strong sense of individuality and empowerment.
   We want to do this while, at the same time, teaching them proper outlets for their stress, their anger and disappointment.
   It helps that we can show self control in ourselves. Setting these limits and rules on what and what is not acceptable behavior, doing it now and being consistent about it will make it possible so much easier in the long run.
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 18th, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Love, baby, that's where it's at.

It helps that we can show self control in ourselves... doing it now and being consistent about it...

Two simple sentences, but you just described the key difference between being a successful parent and not. Being an example is of primary importance to me, but it isn't the easiest aspect of parenting by any means!
curious_corax From: curious_corax Date: April 18th, 2005 06:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Love, baby, that's where it's at.

   What? You mean you get tired and grouchy sometimes too? I don't believe it!
tinamarie From: tinamarie Date: April 17th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Strong will is good when it's focused in the right direction.

Who washed and set the table?
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 18th, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Who washed and set the table?

Evan did, since Josh was in his room wailing and gnashing teeth.
sweet3mich From: sweet3mich Date: April 17th, 2005 11:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm feeling you on this one. My youngest son, Joey, is the most independant and strong willed of the three of mine. It's something I struggle with and admire because I think with the right guidance it will be a wonderful asset for him when he reaches adulthood. I just don't know how I am going to make sure that happens because, Hey. I don't know the first thing about doing all that. I just gotta hope that it all comes out okay in the end. *grin*
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 18th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, there is a lot of flying by the seat of your pants involved with parenting, unfortunately. It is my hope and belief that your children will respect your attempts as long as they see you are sincerely making a genuine effort to "do the right thing." But, a book would help. Yeah, a book written by God with precise instructions on how to raise my two sons. I guess some would argue that the book already exists, eh?
sweet3mich From: sweet3mich Date: April 18th, 2005 05:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heh. Yeah.
schmimi From: schmimi Date: April 18th, 2005 03:09 am (UTC) (Link)
You picked a great picture to accompany that entry. He looks strong willed, independant, and determined in that picture. And awfully cute, too. :)

You sound like such a great dad.
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 18th, 2005 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
After supper, when this event occurred last night, I immediately came in here to write this entry. Allie came and read what I was writing and we set about finding this picture for that exact reason. When she took this picture (actually Easter of 2004), we laughed and laughed at how funny it was, and how it exactly showed so many aspects of Josh's personality. It is one of my favorite pictures! I'm glad you appreciated its relevance.

You sound like such a great dad.

You are falling victim to my LJ propoganda machine! It means a lot to me to be told this though, because it is an ongoing goal for me to be a good father. I am so far from meeting all of the self-prescribed requirements of that job, but I hope my sons at least recognize the efforts I make. Time will tell, I suppose.
mygyzmom From: mygyzmom Date: April 19th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
You ARE a great dad, 'cause I know!
posteverything From: posteverything Date: April 18th, 2005 04:10 am (UTC) (Link)
And that is a fantastic picture.
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 18th, 2005 05:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! It makes me laugh every time I see it.
bd1 From: bd1 Date: April 18th, 2005 05:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cute story and picture. He does seem to have a strong will. Good for him! Now, if he can just aim that determination in the right direction...
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 18th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes, the ageless question: will he use his powers for good or evil? As dads, all we can do is try to leave some crumbs on the right trails, try to make sure the arrows are pointing down all the right roads. After that, I guess you eventually find yourself sitting by the phone and wondering how they're doing "out there." With luck, you meet up with them sometime in adulthood and realize they "made it." Our work is cut out for us, no?
mygyzmom From: mygyzmom Date: April 19th, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
You WILL succeed because you care enough to. They are two lucky boys,and they know you love them.
16 aspirations -{}- aspire with me