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"I only go forward." Michael Caine, actor - The Rancho Commons
Note to self: no whining, no slacking
aspiring2live
aspiring2live
"I only go forward." Michael Caine, actor
From the 13th at 2300.

I'm at work. I am working my 4 week notice and preparing to transfer to another nursing job here in the hospital. A job that is away from the bedside. A job that is away from patients and their families.

I am ready for this after 10 years of dealing with some of the most abusive, unappreciative, vulgar scum on earth. Of course, I've also had the opportunity to deal with some amazing and wonderful people as patients and family members. I've had life changing experiences; euphoric, chaotic nights where a patient tried their very best to die and I stood between them and the exit, and crushing, torturous nights that ground my spirit down to the bone.

I've been sincerely thanked, given gifts, and visited later by well patients. I've been spat upon, cursed, struck, and called every name you could imagine as well. I've done chest compressions on a 19 year old girl while her parents held her hands. I've done them on a 70 year old man, while nearly every rib broke from the effort. I've listened as a mother begged her child not to leave her, and as another said, "Father, into Thy hands we commend his spirit."

I've taken everything I could from these experiences away with me, and I've given all that I had.

With a fond glance to my coworkers, I move forward.

Tags:
Current Location: United States, North Carolina, Winston Salem
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

9 aspirations -{}- aspire with me
Comments
gillian16 From: gillian16 Date: February 15th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was so heartfelt. I feel proud to know you. xo
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: February 16th, 2010 10:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Awww, Geri. I'm just a dude. Geeky, plain... you'd pass me on the street a thousand times and never see me. At least I can put words together in a meaningful way once in a while, when I'm reeeeally lucky.

Thanks.
mygyzmom From: mygyzmom Date: February 15th, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't think anyone could ask for a better attitude! I hope this is a really positive step for you...and us, too.
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: February 16th, 2010 10:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Was I having a good attitude? Keep it quiet.
acey From: acey Date: February 16th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC) (Link)
It was a description of one of your experiences which first drew me to your journal and your wonderful writing, Bruce. I simply cannot imagine how the stress of the past ten years must have affected you. You're a special soul. I wish you all the best for this next phase.

Ang
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: February 16th, 2010 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, Ang. Of late, I've started feeling the weight of those ten years on my spirit. I've said many times, they can't pay you for what this job takes from you. Still, I wouldn't trade it. It has redefined my adult life and (mostly) made me a better person.

But I won't miss it much.
dancingwaves From: dancingwaves Date: February 16th, 2010 02:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Best of luck in the new endeavour, I understand in my own way how moving on becomes necessary... and while I wasn't in the same field, I do understand the utter beauty and utter bitterness that working with people can show. Humanity is interesting, I'll say that.
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: February 16th, 2010 10:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, yes, Steph. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Serving the public in ANY capacity would be better without the people! ;-) But seriously, it weighs on your soul sometimes how many people out there aren't the good guys, and don't have one concern for anyone but themselves.

Interesting? Only morbidly so to me.
dana3 From: dana3 Date: May 29th, 2010 02:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Followed you here from cynical_nurses because your user pic reminded me of someone I dated in the late 70s. You are neither he nor his child AFAIK, but it was nice to see a familiar face, even if it's on someone else. (Does this make any sense at all?)

Anyway -- hoping your new job provided the beneficial changes you were hoping for! Best -- :Dana
9 aspirations -{}- aspire with me