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Evan's creative writing - The Rancho Commons
Note to self: no whining, no slacking
aspiring2live
aspiring2live
Evan's creative writing
3rd grade school assignment. Now, obviously there were some syntax errors (minor) and I wouldn't have written it this way, but he is only 9 1/2. For his age, I think this is amazing writing. He had to write a finish to a story based on a given starting paragraph.

A strange creature from space landed in my backyard last night. I heard a crashing sound and looked out my window. The door of the spacecraft opened slowly. I was frightened, but I kept watching. I wanted to see what was going to come out of the spacecraft. The space creature came out! It...

He wrote:

...was green with a semi-human body - only it could swallow you whole, it had such a mouth. Razor-sharp teeth. But I saw its tails - three. Each was razor sharp. I stared at those until I only saw darkness. I also saw teeth, a tongue, and drool. I was in a cave-like structure with a hole that went down. At least I thought it was - until I looked around. Teeth? A tongue? Drool? I thought about it and saw that I was in the alien's mouth! I was horrified! I was pushed by the tongue down to the throat. I went down... down... down... Boom! I hit the bottom - with my family! I was in the creature's stomach! I was there a couple of hours, then sucked up with my mom and dad and brother into the mouth. It spit us onto a plate, and baby monsters each ate one whole. I remembered - this was the way birds ate. But this was useless. I was in the mouth again. This was more spit than ground. I was being gulped when I found my pocketknife in my sleeve and jammed it into the mouth's roof, pulled myself up, and leaped out while it was yodeling. My parents did it, like my brother, and we went home. We took a bath and went back to bed.

The End



This is the product of a child who reads insatiably. He has read the first Harry Potter book and is currently reading the second one, as well as the books in the Animorphs series. Like some adults, he reads more than one book at a time, which I find unusual for a child of 9. I hope he enjoys writing as he gets older because I think he has a real aptitude/talent for it.
4 aspirations -{}- aspire with me
Comments
brknconfidents From: brknconfidents Date: April 5th, 2004 07:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Excellent writing. The boy amazes me. He's multi-talented like his parents and his aunt. :-D
From: recycling Date: April 5th, 2004 08:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your kid is better than about 80% of my friends list on any given day. He seems bright, just like his ol' man.

This is how it gets started, I suppose..I remember when I was young, doing creative writing in class, going up in front and reading it to everybody. Now I hunch in front of my laptop, getting blisters on my hands, lighting up cigarettes and consuming cup of coffee after cup of coffee.

On second thought, you sure you want that for your boy, Bruce? :)
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: April 5th, 2004 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, as we've discussed, it's either that or some sort of "real" job. [shudder]

From: recycling Date: April 6th, 2004 09:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I suppose you're right..either way, adulthood can be the pits. It's either security with a hint of despair, or insecurity with a false sense of freedom.
4 aspirations -{}- aspire with me