Geek at the cool table, cool at the geek table. (aspiring2live) wrote,
Geek at the cool table, cool at the geek table.


Seemingly obvious, yet obviously not obvious, lessons from the


    Do NOT Drive:
  • Drunk

  • Without your seatbelt

  • With the cruise control on when you are sleepy

  • Really, really fast

  • Like your favorite cartoon character

  • When trimming your trees, Do NOT:
  • Let the tree fall on you

  • Cut off the limb on which you are sitting

  • Rest the moving chainsaw blade on any part of your body

  • Fall off of the roof, ladder, or van on which you are standing

  • Work without safety climbing equipment after two previous severe falls

  • Also Do NOT:
  • Consume alcohol and argue with an armed relative

  • Consume alcohol and play cards with an armed relative

  • Consume alcohol and threaten to kill, during an argument, an armed relative

  • Get in the car with your brother and drive over to your
    ex-girlfriend's house unarmed because she calls you
    complaining that her new boyfriend is drunk and beating
    her up. Because when you arrive, he will proceed to stab
    your brother in the liver and you in the heart

  • Attempt to leave the ground in or on any motorized vehicle
    like you saw at the "Monster Jam" at the coliseum

  • Ride bulls for a living

  • Finally, Some Things You Should Do:
  • Wear Safety belts, oh yes, they DO save lives!

  • Believe death threats from drunk relatives

  • Use safety gear, no matter how silly looking or
    uncomfortable, for ALL sports, recreation, and
    work activities in which you engage

  • ALWAYS know and respect your limitations

  • Be kind and polite to your ICU nurses, who control
    the administration of all pain meds

Tags: humor, wisdom, work

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