Ooooo! Last night, I worked a 4 hour stint extra (7-11pm). I came home and started to walk up the sidewalk from the street. Now, it is important to note here what my obsessive thoughts were. Spiders are really heavy this time of year. It is very dark and it should also be noted that I probably have a valid clinical case of arachnophobia, though never diagnosed. After a brief mental war, I decide I WILL walk up the sidewalk (about 50 feet), albeit very slowly and very carefully, while concentrating with all my effort on seeing spider silhouettes or the glisten of a web before it is "too late." We have trees hanging low over the sidewalk and I have seen actual live spiders very recently with webs between the trees, bushes, porch awning, etc., and the sidewalk. But, I can do this, I say to myself as I inch up the sidewalk.
I got about halfway.
Suddenly, I felt web on the right side of my face (it's always on the face) and on my right arm. I let out this very gutteral, and involuntary, yell to express my horror and jumped backwards in one step back to the curb. I immediately felt like I was immersed in live spiders. I hope the neighbors didn't hear that! Luckily, Allie didn't hear it or she would have had that pitying, yet amused, look she has whenever I have surprise encounters with spiders.
So, now I have to pursue a different strategy, or else sleep in the car. I dig out my flashlight from under the seat, which is dead. So I go around to the driveway, where Allie parks the van, and ease my way to the door to get her flashlight out. It works, hallelujah! Now I begin my approach up the other sidewalk between the driveway and the intersection with the previous sidewalk right at the front porch. The first approach is obviously tainted, this is my last hope. I (still inching) get nearly to the sidewalk intersection when I see a large brown spider about 8 feet over the sidewalk, with web stretching down in all directions. I see where I may be able to get around that one, but then I would nearly be under the spider whose web I touched before on the other sidewalk, and there is yet another web (with large spider) at the intersection of the two sidewalks. I am just about to return to the car for the night, when I hear Allie unlock and open the front door. After much pity/amusement, a yardstick, and a good right shoe, the way was cleared for me to approach the house.
About an hour later, the last of the spiders in which I was immersed crawled off of me. I'm going to dream about this. I always do.
I need a shower. (shudder)