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I am the Bad Guy - The Rancho Commons — LiveJournal
Note to self: no whining, no slacking
I am the Bad Guy
We spend waaay too much money on frivolous things. We spend $400-600 a month just in eating out! No kidding! We go somewhere *all* the time. The mall, Wal-Mart, a restaurant, Best Buy, CompUSA, Barnes and Noble, Target... No wonder our house looks like it does!

Tomorrow it is supposed to rain, so I am thinking today may be a good time to get some yard work done. The trees are hanging down so you have to dodge them to get into the house, the shrubs are overgrown nearly to the eaves and they brush either arm as you enter the porch. Our back porch looks like a redneck yard sale that got hit by a tornado. There is no portion of the house's trim that does not have paint peeling and wood exposed. I aim to do better and I am trying to change my life. The outside portions of our house and yard are primarily my responsibility, always have been so I don't blame anyone else for the problems there.

The inside of the house is "primarily" my wife's domain and, trust me on this, things are worse there than outside, though no paint is peeling. BTW, painting on the inside is my responsibility and she helps, that isn't one of the issues. The problems inside the house are related to clutter. We simply have too much stuff for the room we have and we have plenty of room for most humans. That is to say, we need to get rid of stuff and declutter. My wife knows this and agrees with this. She also agrees that one of her primary mechanisms is to AVOID the problems at home by "road-trotting." She admits to being a shop-a-holic, though I am the first to brag on her bargain shopping abilities. They have saved us, and cost us, many a dollar over the years. But, frequent shopping also contributes to clutter.

So, what can I do? Today, E's last day of school, we made the decision not to send him since it was a half-day and the teacher told us there wasn't anything happening anyway. Instead, we are going to take him by the school to pick up his belongings. MY decision was for ME to stay here and get yard work done. HER decision was for us to stop by the school, hit a restaurant for lunch, and then go up to Pilot Mountain to enjoy the view and take some pictures. OR go to the zoo or whatever else, as long as we ALL went SOMEwhere.

She just pulled out of the driveway. Supposedly, they are going to get his things and come back home. I would bet every tooth in my head (and I still have all of 'em) that she calls with a reason for them to stay gone, or maybe even to suggest that they come pick me up and I go with them. That latter is not likely as I am on the &*$% list right now for noncompliance. When I said I needed my time alone, this isn't what I meant, but I'll take it nonetheless. I will get something done and feel better about my home and myself. I will tell her, if she calls, that we really don't have the money to road trot right now because we have oppressive credit card debt and we eat out more than we eat at home. I will remind her of her recent verbal commitments to change with me, and that I will change *without* her if that is how it has to be because I MUST CHANGE in order to LIVE. I will say these things in the kindest way that I can, yet knowing that I will probably anger her and/or hurt her feelings.

I will do this... because I AM THE BAD GUY.


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stubalobe From: stubalobe Date: June 15th, 2003 08:36 pm (UTC) (Link)


Money is always a hot topic in marriages. Noel is the big spender of us two. Many times I will get in his car and notice some nice, new, and expensive toy. When I ask him when, where, and how much... I always get the same answer...at the store and it was on sale. Shopping can become an addiction. I have noticed since I have had a good paying full time job, that I tend to purchase more items that I have no immediate use for, especially if on sale. I had to sit myself down and have a talk. What's more important, a good buy on this shirt, or another few bucks in the piggy bank. I actually emptied my piggy bank yesterday and had $89. Now that's a nice surprise. Investing and saving money can be as simple or as complicated as you like. Simple idea: take $100 every month and put in an interest bearing savings account or in a 6-12month CD. Most CDs you can add to each month, and will acquire more interest than most savings accounts. This is what I do. Just think of the money you will have at the end of the year.
You are right, it will probably make her mad if you ask her to change. If she can focus her passion for saving money on great buys to finding the credit card with the best interest rates, or shopping around for banks with great savings accounts, maybe she will be satisfied. You probably don't want my advise, but one more thought. If you open a separate account for her E-bay stuff, then you can control spending. Use the earnings from the clothes to buy more. This way there is a definite separation from personal expenses. So you won't have concerns about paying bills, etc... You will be able to closely monitor your progress or failures. Just a thought.
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