We have painfully decided to have him tested to make sure he doesn't have ADD. He has a "focus" problem which could be attributed to that. It could also be that he tests out of grade in all his subjects so he is "bored" and fails to focus for that reason. We honestly don't know what the problem is so we are willing to have him evaluated. As part of the process, similar forms have to be filled out by us and the teacher. The differences in our answers are perplexing and... disturbing.
The teacher answered "Occasionally" to these:
-Bullies, threatens, or intimidates others --He is a nerdish bookworm kind of kid who is bullied, NOT the bully!
-Initiates physical fights --Violates the zero tolerance physical contact rule of the school. He can't possibly intimidate very many people. We've never been notified of such.
-Is physically cruel to people --Read above. Never seen it, not even with his brother.
-Has stolen items of nontrivial value --"nontrivial value" Don't you think we would have been notified of this? Nope
-Deliberately destroys others' property --Again, doesn't this sound like something a teacher might mention at the daily pickup or at a parent/teacher conference or something? Nope, it's never happened.
These got a "very often" response:
-Leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected.
-Runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which remaining seated is expected.
Allie, my wife, and I have been in the classroom on several occasions, and there are a few regular offenders of staying in one's seat, but neither of us have observed this from Evan. He talks, yes, and he distracts others with his talking, but he stays in his seat. We spoke to other parents who have been in the classroom and they named others who frequently got up but said Evan didn't.
I'm no fool, I realize Evan is capable of doing things that he would never do in my presence. I also know him pretty well, however. I believe this woman has problems with him that she will never admit to. We are planning to meet with the vice-principal about this. We believe we are neither the only, nor the first parents to make complaints about her.
I rarely get truly angry about things, but mess with my kids? Nah, wouldn't do that if I were you.