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Homeschooling becomes a clearer option every day... - The Rancho Commons — LiveJournal
Note to self: no whining, no slacking
Homeschooling becomes a clearer option every day...
The education struggles continue. We are starting to truly believe that Evan's 4th grade teacher has it out for him. We know he isn't perfect, and we certainly don't claim he is an angel. She, on the other hand, can't seem to bring herself to say anything positive about him, except that he's bright. We pick him up from school because it is a charter school and, as such, has no school buses. Every day we see her when we pick him up because the teachers stand outside with their classes. When he has had a good day, gotten in no trouble, accomplished his work, etc., she sometimes doesn't even make eye contact with us. Days he has had "trouble" are the ones where she walks the 8 feet to the car to tell us all about it.

We have painfully decided to have him tested to make sure he doesn't have ADD. He has a "focus" problem which could be attributed to that. It could also be that he tests out of grade in all his subjects so he is "bored" and fails to focus for that reason. We honestly don't know what the problem is so we are willing to have him evaluated. As part of the process, similar forms have to be filled out by us and the teacher. The differences in our answers are perplexing and... disturbing.

The teacher answered "Occasionally" to these:

-Bullies, threatens, or intimidates others --He is a nerdish bookworm kind of kid who is bullied, NOT the bully!
-Initiates physical fights --Violates the zero tolerance physical contact rule of the school. He can't possibly intimidate very many people. We've never been notified of such.
-Is physically cruel to people --Read above. Never seen it, not even with his brother.
-Has stolen items of nontrivial value --"nontrivial value" Don't you think we would have been notified of this? Nope
-Deliberately destroys others' property --Again, doesn't this sound like something a teacher might mention at the daily pickup or at a parent/teacher conference or something? Nope, it's never happened.

These got a "very often" response:

-Leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected.
-Runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which remaining seated is expected.

Allie, my wife, and I have been in the classroom on several occasions, and there are a few regular offenders of staying in one's seat, but neither of us have observed this from Evan. He talks, yes, and he distracts others with his talking, but he stays in his seat. We spoke to other parents who have been in the classroom and they named others who frequently got up but said Evan didn't.

I'm no fool, I realize Evan is capable of doing things that he would never do in my presence. I also know him pretty well, however. I believe this woman has problems with him that she will never admit to. We are planning to meet with the vice-principal about this. We believe we are neither the only, nor the first parents to make complaints about her.

I rarely get truly angry about things, but mess with my kids? Nah, wouldn't do that if I were you.

Current Music: "The Line" by Bruce Springsteen

9 aspirations -{}- aspire with me
alphapythia From: alphapythia Date: October 28th, 2004 08:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Have you thought about requesting that he put put in another teacher's classroom?
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: October 28th, 2004 08:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes. The school has three 4th grade classes, but they are arranged according to the children's current learning abilities. Any move would be to an easier class, an easier curriculum, resulting in increased boredom, etc. I know one student has made this move. We talked about it, but if Evan is having non-ADD problems with being bored, this would make it worse, I think.
alphapythia From: alphapythia Date: October 28th, 2004 09:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Maybe. Try talking to the other teachers. Often they know when one of thier own well... sucks. They may have good advice?
From: elricsgirl Date: October 28th, 2004 08:29 am (UTC) (Link)
I was going to say the same thing, but after reading your response, I understand why you can't.

Have you thought about possibly changing schools? I know its a pain, but it might help. We had the same kind of problems with my nephew and his teacher. It isn't any fun, that's for sure.

aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: October 31st, 2004 06:02 am (UTC) (Link)
We have considered all the options many times over for several years actually. Evan is exceptionally smart, in a "nutty professor" kind of way. He scores really high and makes good grades, but is slightly emotionally immature for his age. We have mostly kept him in public school for the socialization, but honestly, they type of children he's been socialized with are less than stellar in our view.

In our minds, the real solution is for us to home school and for him to get his socialization in a church/community environment. It is just such a difficult step that we hesitate to do so, but not at the expense of his self-esteem.
(Deleted comment)
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: October 31st, 2004 06:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, stand by for crap/fan scenario.
brknconfidents From: brknconfidents Date: October 30th, 2004 04:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ok, I'm ready to smack-a-teacher. Evan & Josh are probably the closest thing I'll ever have to kids of my own so....people better watch out!!! I know I look wimpy, but I know people...like um, er, well...just don't be telling crap about my boys or I'll get mad and hurtcha.

None of the above sound like the Evan I know. Hurtin' other kids...no way.
aspiring2live From: aspiring2live Date: October 31st, 2004 06:05 am (UTC) (Link)
THAT is how we know things aren't right. Her observations of Evan, we being his parents aside, are so skewed it shows an unwarranted bias on her part. That is inappropriate and unprofessional. Wrong parents. She picked the wrong ones.
brknconfidents From: brknconfidents Date: November 4th, 2004 12:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hear, hear!
9 aspirations -{}- aspire with me